The Trap of Knowing What You Want—But Still Not Choosing It
The quiet frustration of knowing better—but not doing better (yet).
You say you want the change.
You feel the nudge.
You can picture the version of you on the other side of the decision.
You know what’s next.
And still…you don’t choose it.
Every week, I unpack a common decision trap—something that’s draining your energy, confusing your mind, or costing you peace. Think of it as a reset button for your week.
This week’s trap?
It’s not confusion.
It’s not lack of information.
It’s resistance in the body—even when the mind is clear.And I know it well.
Here’s My Truth:
I want to lose weight.
Not because I hate myself.
But because I want to feel good in my body again. I want to wear clothes that make me feel beautiful. I want to have the energy to enjoy my life, not just push through it.
But I haven’t been choosing that version of me.
I’ve been choosing sweets.
Choosing stillness.
Choosing delay.
Choosing comfort over discomfort—even though the comfort is short-term, and the consequences last longer.
It’s not that I don’t know what I want.
It’s that something in me won’t let me claim it.
And if I’m honest… I’ve realized why.
There’s a Psychological Payoff to Staying the Same
It’s familiar.
It doesn’t challenge me.
It doesn’t ask me to be seen.
It doesn’t ask me to grieve who I was.
And it doesn’t threaten the version of me that learned how to survive in this skin, even if that survival is now suffocating me.
There’s safety in the known, even when the known is misaligned.
This Isn’t Just About Weight
This trap shows up in other places too:
Staying in a relationship that drains you—because loneliness feels worse
Holding back your voice—because approval still matters
Putting off the business idea—because failure feels fatal
Saying you’ll rest “when you catch up”—because exhaustion is your normal
It’s not that you don’t know what to do.
It’s that doing it would require you to become someone new.
And becoming is terrifying when you’ve built your identity around survival.
Why Do I Do This to Myself?
This question has haunted me.
But I’ve stopped answering it with shame. Now I answer it with curiosity.
Because every time I choose misalignment, it’s not about laziness or lack of willpower.
It’s about fear, wiring, safety, and grief.
And the more honest I get about that—the more compassionate I become with myself.
Which is what gives me the strength to choose something different.
Coming Thursday in Untrapped Moves…
I’ll walk you through:
What’s actually happening in your body when you resist change
Why “not choosing” is still a choice
A micro-practice to help you move toward alignment when your nervous system says “not yet”.
If you’ve been frustrated with yourself for staying stuck in patterns you swear you want to outgrow—this one’s for you.
We’re not lazy.
We’re not weak.
We’re just human.
And we can still choose differently.
Upgrade to the paid tier if you’re ready to move gently but honestly into what you actually want.
If this one sat heavy on your chest… I get it. You’re not alone in the delay.
And you’re not behind if you’re still learning how to choose yourself.