The Moment You Disappear
How to catch the signal your body sends before your brain makes the excuse
Your shoulders climbed up to your ears three minutes before you decided the post wasn’t ready.
You just didn’t notice.
Because nobody taught you that your body votes before your mind speaks — and by the time you’re “deciding” to push the deadline, the decision was already made in your chest.
The Vanishing Act Nobody Names
You know the moment.
Finger hovering over “schedule.” Stomach tight. Breath shallow.
And then the thought arrives, perfectly reasonable:
Maybe I should wait until next week.
Let me review it one more time.
This doesn’t feel quite right.
Self-abandonment doesn’t feel like abandonment. It feels like caution.
The throat tightens.
The shoulders rise.
The breath gets shallow.
The mind says “not yet” — but the body said “don’t” three minutes ago.
The trap? You think you’re being responsible. Strategic. Smart.
You’re not overthinking.
You’re overriding.
What Your Body Knows Before You Do
The thing is: your nervous system is faster than your script. Your body processes threat before your prefrontal cortex gets the memo.
That tightness in your chest isn’t irrational — it’s early detection.
The “rational reason” you give yourself for pulling back? That came second.
The fear came first, disguised as discernment. Every time you call it perfectionism, your body calls it protection.
Protection isn’t bad. Your body’s trying to keep you safe. But when you habitually override the signal without even noticing it’s there, you train yourself into something dangerous:
You stop trusting your own instincts.
You teach yourself that your first move is always wrong. That the tightness means you’re not ready, instead of what it actually means: you’re scared and ready at the same time.
You create a body that expects to be overruled.
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The Price of the Override
Here’s what it costs when you habitually dismiss the signal.
You stop trusting your own instincts.
Not all at once.
Slowly.
Like a faucet dripping in a room you stopped going into.
You start double-checking everything — the email, the pricing, the way you said that one thing in the meeting. You train yourself to believe that your first move is always wrong.
And eventually, you condition your body to expect to be overruled.
Your gut speaks, and you override it.
Your intuition rises, and you explain it away.
Your desire surfaces, and you negotiate it down before anyone else gets the chance to.
I once spent three weeks editing my email signature.
Not because the signature was wrong.
Because pressing “save” on anything felt like a risk I hadn’t earned permission to take.
Three weeks…on a signature, ya’ll.
That’s not a productivity issue.
That’s a self-trust issue wearing a productivity mask.
Self-trust isn’t rebuilt in your head. It’s rebuilt in the moment you
feel the doubt and refuse to make it mean you’re not ready.
How to Catch Yourself Mid-Disappear
This is the part where most people want the five-step framework. I’m going to give you 3 steps.
Notice the sensation before the story. When your shoulders climb, when your stomach drops, when your jaw locks — that’s data. Before your mind writes the reason, your body already cast the vote. Catch that vote.
Name it without fixing it. You don’t have to make the feeling go away. Just say it out loud. “My chest is tight.” “My breath is shallow.” “I’m bracing.” That’s it. You’re not solving. You’re witnessing.
Ask the real question. “Is this protection or discernment?”
Here’s the distinction. Protection feels like bracing. Your body gets smaller.
Your options narrow. You want to pull back, close down, wait.Discernment feels like clarity. Even when the answer is “not yet,” there’s spaciousness. You can breathe. You’re choosing, not reacting.
If you can’t breathe through the decision, it’s not wisdom — it’s a pattern.
What It Looks Like to Stay
So here’s the counter-move and I need you to internalize it when I say this isn’t about being fearless.
It’s about what it feels like to publish scared.
Shoulders still high. Heart still fast.
Finger still hovering.
And then — you press send anyway.
Not because the fear left, but because you decided the fear doesn’t get to be the final authority.
That’s the practice. Staying visible while uncomfortable. Not waiting for the discomfort to pass, because it won’t. Not the way you want it to. Not on your timeline.
What changes isn’t the fear.
What changes is your willingness to let both exist while you move.
Self-trust isn’t the absence of doubt. It’s the refusal to let doubt have the last word.
My Invitation to You
The next time you feel your body brace — before the meeting, before the post, before the ask — you’ll have a choice you didn’t know existed.
Not override. Not collapse.
Just notice and move anyway.
Your body’s been trying to tell you something. Not that you’re not ready.
That you’ve been ready, and terrified, this whole time.
This is the work we do in Get Untrapped™ — catching the moment you disappear, so you can choose to stay.
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