The Lies That Keep Us Stuck
Freedom starts with telling the truth—especially the hard ones.
You can’t free yourself from something you’re still pretending is working.
And I get it—sometimes pretending feels safer.
Safer than shaking up your life.
Safer than being misunderstood.
Safer than asking the question that might unravel everything you’ve built.
But pretending has a cost.
And for many of us, it shows up in the form of quiet overfunctioning:
Smiling through resentment
Hustling through burnout
Staying when we want to leave
Saying yes when everything in us wants to say no
And underneath all of that?
A web of quiet lies we’ve learned to live by.
The Lies Sound Like This:
“I should just be grateful.”
“Now isn’t the right time.”
“I can’t afford to change anything right now.”
“If I slow down, I’ll lose everything I’ve worked for.”
“If I say no, they’ll stop relying on me.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“Maybe I’m just being dramatic.”
We say these things so often we start to believe them.
But deep down, our body knows better.
Our body tightens. Our sleep worsens. Our resentment rises.
Not because we’re broken—but because the truth is trying to break through.
My Lie Was “It’s Not That Bad.”
I said it for years—about work, about relationships, about expectations that felt suffocating.
But my body was telling a different story.
So was my energy.
So was my joy.
I had to stop waiting for it to get bad enough to leave.
I had to learn how to trust invisible pain points—not just visible damage.
That’s when things started to shift.
Not because life got easier.
But because I stopped gaslighting myself.
The Truth Is What Sets You Free (and Yes, It’s Scary)
Freedom doesn’t always feel like fireworks.
Sometimes it feels like grief.
Sometimes it feels like shaking hands and a pit in your stomach.
Sometimes it feels like guilt for choosing yourself after years of self-sacrifice.
But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
That means it’s working.
The Truth Behind the Lie (for paid subscribers)
In the second half of this post, I’ll walk you through:
3 common lies high-functioning people tell themselves (and why)
The real truth beneath each one
How to stop gaslighting yourself just to survive your own life
A reflection prompt to help you reclaim sovereignty—quietly and powerfully
This isn’t about being loud.
It’s about being honest—with yourself first.
Ready?
Let’s get honest about three of the most common lies high-functioning people tell themselves—especially when they’re stuck in situations that no longer fit but feel too risky to leave.
These lies don’t mean we’re weak.
They mean we’ve been taught to value stability over sovereignty.
But when we unpack the lie, we can reclaim the truth.
1. “I should just be grateful.”
The lie: Wanting more is selfish. You already have enough. Don’t be ungrateful.
The truth: Gratitude and desire can coexist.
You can be grateful for your job and want more purpose.
You can be grateful for your partner and want deeper connection.
You can be grateful for safety and still long for freedom.
Gratitude should expand you—not guilt you into silence.
Freedom cue: If your gratitude feels heavy, it’s probably performing a role—not reflecting your truth.
2. “If I slow down, I’ll lose everything.”
The lie: Rest is risky. Pause and it’ll all fall apart.
The truth: Constant motion doesn’t guarantee progress—it just ensures exhaustion.
We learn to link busyness with worth, especially when we were rewarded for being reliable, productive, or “strong.”
But true freedom isn’t just the ability to move fast.
It’s the ability to pause without guilt—because you know the world won’t end if you rest.
Freedom cue: If your nervous system panics when you’re still, it’s not laziness—it’s conditioning.
3. “It’s not that bad.”
The lie: Others have it worse. You’re just being sensitive.
The truth: “Not that bad” is still not good.
You don’t have to wait for rock bottom to choose differently.
You don’t have to collapse before you allow change.
Discomfort doesn’t need to turn into disaster to be taken seriously.
Freedom cue: If your life only qualifies for care when it’s falling apart, it’s time to rewrite the rules.
Reflection Prompt:
Which “quiet lie” am I still using to justify staying in a version of life that’s too small for me?
Write it. Don’t judge it. Just tell the truth.
The kind of truth that lets your shoulders drop.
The kind that doesn’t need to be loud to be liberating.
The kind that makes space for freedom—not just functionality.
Because the real prison isn’t always the job or the relationship or the role.
Sometimes it’s the script we’re still following because it once kept us safe.
And freedom?
It starts with telling the truth—especially to yourself.
More soon,
—Shannon