I use specific language in this publication.
Not buzzwords. Not branding for the sake of branding.
These are terms I built — or deliberately chose because the existing vocabulary didn’t name what I was seeing precisely enough.
Words matter in this work.
The wrong word lets you off the hook.
The right word makes the pattern visible.
And once you can name something with precision, you can interrupt it with precision.
Here’s your orientation so nothing I write from here catches you off guard.
Self-abandonment
The moment you override your own knowing to stay safe, acceptable, or invisible. Not a dramatic collapse. A quiet override. You knew the post was ready. You rewrote it anyway. You knew the rate was fair. You quoted lower.
Self-abandonment is what happens in the gap between what you know and what you allow yourself to do.
The finish line
The point where private work becomes public. Where creation meets visibility. This is not the deadline on your calendar. It’s the moment the work stops being yours alone and starts being something other people can see, respond to, and judge.
For most women in this work, the finish line is where the pattern activates — not because the work isn’t done, but because being seen feels dangerous.
The moment you disappear
The somatic and behavioral signal that self-abandonment is happening in real time. Not after. Not in retrospect. Right now. It’s the tightened jaw before you rewrite the email. The shallow breath before you close the laptop. The sudden urge to check something, clean something, fix something — anything other than release the thing that’s ready.
Learning to catch this moment is the foundational skill of this entire body of work.
The belief matrix
The three-part system of beliefs about self, others, and possibility that drives the pattern. Not one limiting thought — a structure. “I’m not enough” is the belief about self. “They’ll see through me” is the belief about others. “It’s too late for someone like me” is the belief about possibility.
These three work together like a lock. Strategy can’t pick it. You have to see the mechanism.
The 3 Traps
Approval, perfection, and performance — the three meta-patterns professional women get caught in.
The approval trap says make them comfortable before you make your move.
The perfection trap says make it bulletproof before anyone sees it.
The performance trap says prove you earned it before you claim it.
Most women are running at least two simultaneously. Naming which trap is active in a given moment is how you stop obeying it on autopilot.
Minimum Viable Release Standard
Your pre-set, checkable definition of “done enough to serve someone.” Not a feeling. Not “it feels ready.”
A specific set of criteria — three to five — that you define when you’re clear and regulated, so you have something to return to when fear tries to move the finish line.
This is the tool that takes “done” out of your emotions and puts it in your hands.
Release Rep
Any instance of completing and sharing work, however small. Posting without seven rounds of edits. Sending the pitch without four drafts.
Sharing a draft with one person instead of waiting until it’s perfect. The point isn’t that it’s your biggest work.
The point is that each rep trains your nervous system: visibility is survivable. Imperfection is survivable. Releasing is something I do now.
Untrap Statement
A situationally specific pattern interrupt for the moment the old story activates. Not an affirmation. An intervention. Not “I am worthy” — that has never stopped a woman from deleting a post at midnight.
An Untrap Statement is built for a specific trigger: “When I want to reduce my rate, I say: this number reflects my work and I don’t negotiate against myself.”
Specific. Targeted. Usable in the five seconds that matter.
Evidence Log
The daily two-minute practice of documenting proof of your own capability.
You’re going to answer 3 questions:
What did I decide today?
What did I follow through on?
What evidence of my capability did today provide?
Fear has a daily voice. The Evidence Log is your daily counter-voice — built on receipts, not affirmations.
Pre-Release Reset
The five-minute somatic and cognitive practice you use before every visible action.
Breath regulation, grounding, a reminder of your Minimum Viable Release Standard, and a commitment phrase you say out loud.
Think of it like a pre-game ritual for athletes. Not superstition — science.
A consistent routine that tells your nervous system: we’ve been here before, we know how to do this.
The aftershock
The neurobiological discomfort that follows a real decision.
It’s the anxiety, the second-guessing, the urge to retract — not because you made the wrong choice, but because you made a different one.
Your brain doesn’t distinguish between “danger because of actual threat” and “danger because this is new.”
The aftershock is what change feels like in the body. It is not information about the quality of your decision.
Growth container
The relational and psychological conditions that make transformation possible.
Not just “a safe space.”
A space with enough safety to tolerate discomfort, enough honesty to name what’s real, and enough structure to move through it.
In this publication, the growth container is what we’re building together — a place where you can see your pattern without shame and practice a different response without performing progress you haven’t made yet.
This vocabulary isn’t all inclusive nor decoration. It’s infrastructure.
Every tool I teach, every post I write, every framework I build uses this language and other terms.
When you know the terms, you can find yourself inside them. And when you can find yourself inside them, you can start to move.
Subscribe to Get Untrapped so you have access to every tool these terms point to — the practices, protocols, and frameworks that make the language real.
Next: How to Use This Publication →Free posts, paid tools, and the fastest way to find what you need.