Trap Therapy™ is the weekly interruption your protective patterns didn’t ask for — but desperately need if you’re done abandoning yourself.
It always starts like static—charged, magnetic, familiar in a way that feels cosmic.
You lock eyes, the banter flows, and your body hums with recognition.
You tell yourself, this must mean something.
I used to think chemistry was the proof. Now I know it’s just the spark notes—the preview, not the plot.
The Pattern
You mistake energy for evidence.
You call the first three hours of a conversation “depth.”
You excuse red flags as quirks because your chemistry says, we’re different.
You start interpreting uncertainty as excitement.
When they pull away, your brain interprets it as a chase.
You feel more alive around them, but less at peace with yourself.
Why We Fall for It
Attraction is intoxicating because it gives the illusion of certainty.
It says, this feels right, when you’ve barely met the data.
Biologically, the rush is dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenaline colliding in what neuroscientists call a reward cascade.
Behavioral economists would call it intermittent reinforcement—the same mechanism that makes slot machines addictive. The high of a “hit” (a text, a look, a kiss) convinces your brain to keep pulling the lever, even when the payout is inconsistent.
So, you confuse familiarity with fate.
You stay curious long after your curiosity has turned to caution.
The Psychology Behind It
In I/O psychology terms, this is availability bias—the brain privileges what’s immediate and vivid over what’s consistent and true.
Our nervous systems are wired for pattern recognition; we seek what feels familiar, not necessarily what’s good for us.
If you grew up in environments where love was unpredictable, your body equates volatility with connection. That flutter isn’t always chemistry—it’s your system bracing for the next swing.
How to Get Untrapped
Track the Pattern, Not the Person.
Before asking Do I like them?, ask What about this dynamic feels familiar?
Attraction is information, but it needs translation.Wait for the Calm.
Notice how the connection feels once the initial spark settles.
True chemistry deepens into ease; infatuation burns out on anxiety.Name the Signal.
The next time your body says This feels electric, pause. Ask, Does it feel safe, or just familiar?
Safety often registers as boring until you retrain your nervous system to crave peace over adrenaline.
Reflection Prompt
What would attraction feel like if calm was my baseline instead of chaos?
Work With Me
This is the kind of work I do with clients—helping them slow down, listen inward, and rebuild trust with their own judgment. If you’re ready to live that work, I’m happy to help.
The Illusion of Certainty
Attraction is intoxicating— not for its truth, but for the certainty it pretends to offer. I married a memory, a boy who sat beside me in elementary school, who walked the same halls in high school, whose presence felt like a promise. he was safe.
But time reveals what proximity conceals. Familiarity is not the same as knowing. Shared geography does not guarantee shared values. We grew apart, not in miles, but in meaning. Our marriage ended in divorce.
However, in looking at things now I realize that divorce was not failure— it was clarity. A reflection not of broken vows, but of evolving selves.
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