The Burnout Trap
When giving until there’s nothing left robs you of patience, presence, and joy.
Burnout doesn’t crash in all at once.
It creeps in slowly, disguised as love.
You tell yourself you’re being a good parent by running on empty — that sacrificing yourself to the bone is proof of how much you care.
But one day you realize you’ve been hollowed out.
You’re staring at the wall while your child is talking to you.
You’re snapping over things that you’d usually consider petty.
You’re dragging your body through the day, fueled only by guilt and caffeine.
That’s the Burnout Trap. And it doesn’t just steal your energy. It steals your joy, your presence, and sometimes, your very will to keep going.
Where It Comes From
Burnout grows out of over-functioning:
Carrying what was never meant for one person to carry.
Believing exhaustion equals devotion.
Living under cultural pressure that says real parents do it all — without complaint.
But the truth is, you can’t keep pouring from an empty body, mind, and spirit. Eventually, something caves in under the pressure.
My Life in This Trap
This isn’t theory for me. This is lived experience.
I have spent years as a single mother of four, carrying everything — financial, emotional, mental, spiritual. Their father on the other hand, sat on the sidelines, quick to criticize but never to help.
Every bill, tear, homework assignment, slammed bedroom door, and 3 a.m. worry was mine to hold. And I held it… until I couldn’t.
I remember collapsing under the weight, ending up in a hospital room that smelled sterile and hopeless.
It wasn’t the flu.
It wasn’t a virus.
It was burnout, anxiety, and depression — diagnoses written in black and white, but carved into me long before.
I had given until there was nothing left, and “nothing” became my normal.
My children got the scraps of me; my exhaustion, my sharp edges, my silence.
And though I regret that, I also know now it wasn’t because I didn’t love them.
It was because I was drowning, and no one had ever taught me how to breathe while carrying so much.
Through therapy, years of reflection, and clawing my way back, I had to learn the hardest truth: love is not proven by depletion.
My worth as a mother is not measured in how close I get to collapse. My kids need me present, not perfect — and definitely not depleted.
A Gentler Way Forward
If you’ve been here or if you’re there now…hear me: burnout is not your badge of honor.
It’s your body’s cry for relief.
Rest isn’t weakness. It’s rebellion against a culture that tells you to self-destruct in the name of love.
Asking for help doesn’t make you less of a parent. It makes you human.
Protecting your joy is protecting your children. Because they don’t just need you alive…they need you alive to yourself.
Reflection Prompt
What has burnout already stolen from you — time, joy, patience, your health?
And what’s one boundary, rest practice, or ask for help you could put in place this week to start taking back what was lost?
This post wraps up The Parent Trap Series.
If these words found you, if you’ve seen yourself in these traps, then you already know how much work it takes to name them and how much healing is possible when we do.
But remember: healing is not a one-time post. It’s a practice. As a paid subscriber to Get Untrapped™, you’ll unlock:
Weekly deep-dive lessons that go beyond naming the traps into the “how” of breaking free.
Video sessions + mini-courses where I guide you step by step through the same practices that helped me rebuild after burnout, divorce, and depression.
Exclusive reflection tools + journaling prompts to help you put insight into action.
Behind-the-scenes stories I only share with my inner circle — the raw truths that don’t make it into the public posts.
If the free posts have resonated, imagine what could happen if you committed to walking this road with me more intentionally.
Upgrade today and join a circle of readers who are choosing presence, freedom, and a life beyond the traps. Your healing — and your children’s inheritance — are worth it.