Start Getting Untrapped

You’re successful in public and stuck in private—and it’s quietly costing you more than you think.

It’s costing you peace.
It’s costing you money.
And it’s costing you the kind of self-trust that lets you make a decision and not spiral for three days after.

This page exists to change that.

How to Use This Page

1. Read the phase descriptions below.
   Don’t overthink it—notice where your body goes “ugh… that’s me.”

2. Claim your phase.
   That’s your home base for now.

3. Follow the recommended phase.
   You’ll see specific posts, episodes, and tools to start with.

4. Watch for readiness signals.
   When those are true, you’re ready for the next phase.

That’s it.

Phase 1 — Untrapped Curiosity

You’re in a meeting, and you feel your chest tighten.

You’re about to say “yes” again.
Not because it’s true.
Because it’s familiar.

Untrapped Curiosity is the phase where you stop calling your discomfort “dramatic” and start treating it like data.

You begin noticing the small moments where you override yourself—without judgment, without a whole identity crisis.

Self-abandonment doesn’t usually show up as a big betrayal.

It shows up as a thousand tiny edits:

• “It’s not that serious.”

• “I’ll do it this one time.”

• “I don’t want to make it awkward.”

Curiosity is how you interrupt the autopilot.
You can’t change what you keep normalizing.

What this phase looks like (real life):

• You catch yourself rehearsing how to ask for something “nicely”

• You notice you keep delaying one decision that would change everything

• You realize your yes is fast… but your no takes days to form

What you’re building here:
Awareness without shame.

Untrapped move:
Start asking one question in real time:

“What am I about to do that I don’t actually agree with?”

Your Phase 1 Posts

Start with these:

• You Called It Burnout. But You Were Grieving.

• Get Untrapped™: What This Space Is (And What It Isn’t)

• You Know What’s Wrong—You Just Stopped Trusting Yourself to Name It

Find Your Trapped Archetype™
→ Take the Assessment

You’re Ready for Phase 2 When:

• You can name your main trapped pattern or archetype in one sentence.

• You’re starting to notice moments of self-abandonment in real time.

• Shame is loosening its grip; curiosity is showing up.

Untrapped Truth: You’re not behind. You’re finally at the real starting line.

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Phase 2 — Untrapped Awareness

You finally tell the truth in your journal.

Not the polite truth.
The real one.

And your body exhales like it’s been waiting on you.

Untrapped Awareness is the phase where you learn the mechanics of your self-abandonment.

You stop treating it like a personality flaw and start seeing it as a pattern with a purpose.

You name your triggers.
You identify your “safety rules.”
You recognize what your nervous system is trying to protect.

Professional women don’t hesitate because they’re incapable.
They hesitate because at some point, their system learned:

“It’s safer to be liked than to be honest.”
“It’s safer to be useful than to be clear.”
“It’s safer to delay than to risk regret.”

Awareness helps you separate:

• what is true from what is training

What this phase looks like (real life):

• You can identify your archetype pattern (Pleaser, Prover, Performer, Passenger)

• You can name the cost of your default yes (time, money, resentment, self-respect)

• You start noticing the moment your brain starts bargaining with your boundaries

What you’re building here:
Pattern recognition + emotional accuracy.

Untrapped move:
Replace “What’s wrong with me?” with:

“When did I learn that this was the safest way to survive?”

Start with these:

• The Self-Silencing Trap

• The Gratitude Trap (When ‘Thankful’ Becomes Self-Abandonment in Disguise)

• The Trap of Needing to Know Before You Move

You’re Ready for Phase 3 When:

• You can trace at least one pattern from trigger → feeling → story → decision.

• You can usually predict where you’re about to abandon yourself.

• You’ve named 1–2 non-negotiables you’re trying to protect.

Untrapped Truth: Once you see the pattern, you can’t unsee it. That’s not a curse. That’s leverage.

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Phase 3 — Untrapped Practice

You try something new.

Your voice shakes.
Your stomach drops.
And you still do it.

Not perfectly.
But on purpose.

Untrapped Practice is where you train a new response.

This is not the “aha” phase.
This is the rep phase.

You start building decision muscle memory:
how to pause, regulate, choose, and follow through—especially when discomfort rises.

Insight without practice becomes entertainment.

And most women are stuck in a cycle of:
realizing → feeling inspired → going back to default
because their nervous system still labels change as unsafe.

Practice is how you prove safety to your system.

Not by forcing confidence.
By building capacity.

What this phase looks like (real life):

• You set one boundary and survive the guilt

• You make a small money move without spiraling (negotiation, pricing, savings, debt plan)

• You stop explaining and start stating

• You learn to tolerate the emotional “heat” of being misunderstood

What you’re building here:
Decision stability.

Untrapped move:
Choose one micro-action that teaches your system:

“I can honor myself and still be okay.”

Phase 3 Posts

Start with these posts:

• The Self-Trust Reset Playbook

• The Boundary-Setting Playbook for Chronic People-Pleasers

• Decision Diary: Choosing to Write While Feeling Insignificant

You’re Ready for Phase 4 When:

• You’ve run several self-trust experiments and have real data on what helps you.

• At least one habit, boundary, or money move has held for 2+ weeks.

• Staying the same feels more painful than taking the next aligned risk.

Untrapped Truth: Self-trust is built in reps, not revelations.

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Phase 4 — Untrapped Living

Somebody asks you to do something you don’t want to do.

And your no flows out easily.
No apology.
No essay.
No guilt trip afterward.

Just truth.

Untrapped Living is integration.

It’s when self-trust becomes your default setting—not because life is easier, but because you’ve built a relationship with yourself that holds under pressure.

You don’t wait for perfect clarity.
You know how to choose from a grounded place.

You become a woman who can be in the room—and still belong to herself.

The goal isn’t just making one good decision.
The goal is becoming someone who doesn’t disappear inside her own life.

Untrapped Living means:

• your boundaries are seen as normal, not dramatic

• your desires are viewed as valid, not inconvenient

• your decisions are yours, not negotiated away

What this phase looks like (real life):

• You leave wrong rooms/relationships/routines faster

• You stop performing peace to avoid conflict or rejection

• You make aligned moves with less emotional chaos or fear

• You trust yourself even when other people don’t understand your choice

What you’re building here:
Untrapped Authority.

Untrapped move:
Ask yourself before you commit:

“Will I respect myself on the other side of this yes?”

Phase 4 Posts

Start with these posts:

• The Rain, the Train, and the Yes

• Another Year Older, Another Layer Untrapped

• Deferred Dreams to Bold Realignments

Untrapped Truth: The goal isn’t to never feel trapped again.
The goal is to trust yourself enough to get untrapped faster every time.

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Not Sure Where You Land?

If you feel like, “Honestly, I see myself in all four”—that tracks.

Use this:

• If you haven’t taken the Trapped Archetype Assessment yet → start in Phase 1.

• If you know your archetype but keep looping the same stories → start in Phase 2.

• If you see the pattern and want scripts + experiments → start in Phase 3.

• If you’re already moving differently and want to hold the line → hang out in Phase 4.

You’re successful in public and stuck in private—for now.
This roadmap is here so that the next version of you is successful in public and at peace in private… because you finally trust the person making the decisions.