Making Peace With the Pace You Can Actually Sustain
Because burnout isn’t a badge I want anymore.
There was a version of me that used to believe I could outwork the overwhelm.
That if I just organized better…
Woke up earlier…
Pushed harder…
I could somehow… show up fully for my 9–5, parent my 2 neurodivergent teens with grace, support my 2 young adult children with their challenges manage my home, build a business, and publish beautiful content every week.
And sometimes I did.
But it came at a cost I didn’t fully understand—until my body made the decision for me which landed me in the hospital for 4 days.
The Reality Check
I’m neurodivergent.
Which means some days, my brain is on fire with ideas—and other days, it can barely complete a sentence.
I’m raising kids who also need extra time, support, and presence.
And I’m holding down a full-time job in a field that requires real energy and engagement.
So when I tried to treat my Substack like a startup accelerator, or write like someone with open mornings and no emotional labor, I kept crashing.
That’s when I realized:
It’s not about discipline.
It’s about capacity.
Is This You Too?
You want to show up consistently, but your life isn't built for “every day” anything.
You feel guilty for not doing more—even though you’re already stretched thin.
You start to resent your dreams because they feel like one more thing you’re not doing “right.”
If you nodded to any of that—welcome. You’re not alone.
This post isn’t about giving up. It’s about getting honest—so you can build something that doesn’t break you.
Let’s Unpack This (for paid subscribers)
Inside the rest of this post, I’ll share:
1 mindset shift that helped me stop overpromising my energy
My personal rhythm-building strategy (even when my brain resists structure)
A tool for checking your real capacity before you commit to anything
A reflection prompt to help you redefine “progress” in whatever season of life you’re in.
Because some of us weren’t built for hustle.
We were built for depth, impact, and sustainability.
We just have to stop using someone else’s pace to measure our worth.
Mindset Shift: I Don’t Need to Prove I Can Do It All—Just That I Can Do What Matters
There was a time when I said yes to everything I thought I “should” be able to handle.
Launch the program.
Run the household.
Show up at work with full energy.
Build a writing practice on top of it all.
But eventually I had to admit:
I wasn’t underperforming. I was overpromising.
Especially to myself.
Now, my baseline question isn’t: “Can I fit it in?”
It’s: “Can I sustain it without disappearing?”
If I have to abandon myself to achieve something, that’s not success—it’s self-erasure.
2. My Rhythm-Building Strategy (Even When Structure Feels Suffocating)
Because of my neurodivergence, rigid routines tend to backfire.
But no rhythm at all leaves me scattered and self-critical.
So instead of strict systems, I use anchor points:
I write once a week—but I don’t force the same day every time
I commit to one “deep work” hour per weeknight—but I let the activity flex based on capacity
I check in on Sundays—not to plan a “perfect week,” but to notice what’s draining me before it spills over
It’s not about optimization.
It’s about flow and forgiveness.
Rhythm without rigidity.
3. Capacity Check Tool: The 3-Pulse Scan
Before I commit to anything—an idea, a collaboration, even a personal goal—I do this quick scan:
Emotional Pulse
Do I actually want to do this—or do I feel obligated?
(If it’s a “should,” I pause.)
Energy Pulse
Do I have the physical/mental bandwidth to follow through in the next 7–10 days?
(If not, I either adjust the timeline or say no.)
Environment Pulse
What else is happening in my life that might affect this?
(kids' schedules, health, job demands—those matter)
If two out of three are off, it’s a no for now—not because I can’t, but because I care enough to be honest.
4. Reflection Prompt:
What pace feels doable right now—not ideal, not impressive, just reasonable?
Write it down. Say it out loud.
Then ask: What would change if I trusted that this slower pace still leads somewhere meaningful?
Because it does.
It always has.
Final Thoughts
You’re not lazy.
You’re not unmotivated.
You’re not falling behind.
You’re just finally done lying to yourself about how much you can carry without dire consequences.
That’s not quitting.
That’s emotional intelligence.
More soon,
—Shannon