I Used to Call It Ambition. But It Was Fear of Being Invisible.
How overachievement became my armor—and what it is looking like to lay it down.
They thought I was ambitious.
Driven.
Motivated.
A high-achiever.
But what they didn’t see—what even I didn’t see for a long time—was that my ambition wasn’t born from purpose.
It was born from pain.
I wasn’t chasing goals.
I was chasing visibility.
I was chasing validation.
I was chasing a sense of worth.
Because when you grow up feeling invisible…
When your needs go unmet, your voice ignored, your presence overlooked…
You learn that if you do more maybe, someone will eventually see you.
So I chased degrees.
I pursued certifications
I went after the promotions.
And with each milestone, I thought maybe this would be the one that made me feel… good enough.
But no achievement ever fully filled the emptiness.
Because it wasn’t ambition.
It was survival attempts.
Even now, when I see someone else get praised at work…
That old wound whispers:
“You’re not doing enough.”
“They see her—not you.”
“You need to catch up.”
It’s not my goals that exhaust me.
It’s the little girl inside who still thinks she has to perform her way into being seen.
I don’t write this from a place of mastery.
I write this from the middle.
Because healing isn’t linear. Some days, I remember:
I am enough—even when resting.
I am enough—even if unnoticed.
I am enough—without the next thing.
Other days, I forget. But the difference now?
I catch it.
I see the old pattern.
And I choose differently.
But knowing where it came from isn’t enough. The shift happens when you begin to rewrite the story. That’s what I’ll walk you through next. 👇🏾
Let’s name the trap:
You were praised for your ambition. But no one noticed it was your coping strategy.
The doing.
The fixing.
The planning.
The prepping.
The never ending striving.
All of it helped you survive feeling invisible.
But now?
You’re exhausted.
Because being seen through your achievements still isn’t the same as being seen for who you are.
Try This: Worthiness Check-In
Ask yourself:
When I feel overlooked, what story do I automatically tell myself?
Who did I have to become to feel seen as a child?
What am I still doing out of fear that I’ll disappear if I stop?
What would it look like to feel seen without producing anything?
Pause. Reflect. Let the truth land.
You don’t need to outrun invisibility anymore.
You are not invisible.
You are healing.
And healing doesn’t need to hustle to be seen or heard.
Reframe to Practice
Instead of:
“I need to prove I belong here.”
Try:
“I already belong—even if no one claps.”
Closing Truth
Ambition was never the enemy.
But when it’s built on emptiness, it turns into a trap.
You don’t need to earn your worth through doing.
You don’t need to be extraordinary to be loved.
You don’t need more credentials to deserve gentleness.
You’re already enough.
Even in the quiet.
Even when no one’s watching.
Even when someone else gets the praise.
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