“Gratitude” Is Keeping You Trapped
When over-functioning gets disguised as humility—and your dreams keep shrinking in the name of being thankful.
Let’s talk about one of the quietest traps I’ve been caught in and have seen in high-achieving professionals:
Gratitude.
Not the real kind—rooted in presence, self-trust, and joy.
But the performative kind. The "I should just be thankful" kind.
It sounds like:
“I mean… I have a stable job.”
“It’s not toxic.”
“They treat me well.”
“I should be grateful—it could be worse.”
And yes, those things can be true.
But here’s the catch:
When you use gratitude to silence your deeper dissatisfaction, it’s not emotional maturity. It’s entrapment.
What you’re actually saying is:
“I’m not allowed to want more.”
“Other people would kill for this role, so I should settle.”
“If I leave, I might regret it—and lose everything.”
But here's the truth you're afraid to say out loud:
You can be grateful for what your job gave you…and still outgrow it.
Gratitude doesn’t mean you stay in the wrong role out of guilt.
It means you honor what it offered—and know when it’s time to leave.
If you’re starting to feel the quiet ache of stagnation—despite “having it good”, you’re not being ungrateful.
You’re being honest and that is where real alignment begins.
Ready to explore what gratitude might be covering up?
The next section includes reflection prompts and a coaching tool to help you break free from the guilt-gratitude loop.
🔐 Available for paid subscribers below.
Step One: Name the Gratitude Script
List out your top 3 reasons you’ve stayed in your current role.
Which of them sound like emotional truths… and which sound like fear dressed up as humility?
Use these to guide you:
“It’s a good job for someone like me.”
“I should be thankful—at least I’m not unemployed.”
“This job is what’s expected of me.”
“It’s not perfect, but it pays the bills.”
Now pause.
Ask yourself:
What am I afraid would happen if I stopped saying ‘thank you’ and started saying ‘this doesn’t fit’?”
Step Two: Use the Gratitude Trap Filter
For each gratitude phrase, run it through this lens:
Write your own version:
“I’m grateful for ______, but I can’t keep ignoring ______.”
Tool: Reframe It with “Both/And” Statements
Replace the guilt loop with honest gratitude + clear desire.
Examples:
“I’m grateful for the lessons this role taught me—and I’m ready for work that energizes me again.”
“I appreciate my team—and I need to stop hiding my real strengths just to keep the peace.”
“This job gave me stability—and now, I’m craving purpose.”
Final Thought
Being thankful doesn’t mean you stop growing.
Gratitude shouldn’t cost you your voice, vision, or vitality.
If it is…
It’s not gratitude.
It’s fear in disguise.
Let’s choose something more honest and get untrapped.